Farewell, my lovelies … ha ha ha … or be seeing you … I hope … on this blog.
Finally, for what it’s worth, here’s the end of my young adult novel, which is totally not a spoiler. I hope my writers group doesn’t think it sucks too much. Here goes:
So that’s all I got. If you’re looking for some sort of moral, I couldn’t tell you what it is. Don’t follow strange boys riding on buses? Don’t lie to your parents? Don’t do stupid things just to be accepted? Feel free to take your pick.
I guess the point is that we all have to make choices. Up until three years ago, I never really had to live with mine. I was always moving from one place to another, so I didn’t have to choose to be anything anywhere. However, things changed, once we settled here and I had to decide who my real friends were.
I’ve heard we are the sum total of our choices. I’ve never been sure exactly what that meant until now. I’d like to think I add up to someone worth knowing.
Life is like a weird, crazy movie. It’s totally like that novel, The Sound and the Fury. Have you ever read it? If not, I’ll save you the trouble.
It starts out as gibberish – a tale told by a true idiot. Half the time, you have no idea what’s going on. Slowly, the pieces come together. And just as it all starts to make some kind of sense, it ends – inconclusively. That’s it. You’re welcome.
THE END
So … should I take a bow? Ha ha ha …
Be seeing you, I hope.
UPDATE: They liked it! My writer’s group liked the story. In fact, I know what I must do to make it even better.
Hi there! It’s becoming painfully clear that this blog must be archived. It won’t be deleted. It will be preserved. As an example of … whatever. How to be a doofus? Ha ha ha … I don’t know.
I’m not shutting it down just yet. This is just an early warning that subscribers might want to switch over to this blog, where I posted something today.
Most of the interesting links are over there, except these …
Hi there! We went to Ireland and the UK this summer, and while we were in Scotland, I climbed 287 steps just to say I did it and get this picture and view!
However, I really do give all readers choices. My novels are available as ebooks here now. Thank you, Eamon Moroney, for the info about Bkclb.
So … after lunch, I took a walk with my husband, during which we discussed whether high school girls would refer to other students as “kids” or not. We have no kids, so I don’t know. Anyone out there know? Anyone with kids? LOL!
Then, I sat down and prepared a shitty rough outline of my speech for the Sisters in Crime, Richmond Chapter. And I still had time afterward to work on my novel and write this post. Because that’s my job, and I’m a blue collar writer, a blogger, and a happy fool.
And here’s the shitty rough outline. Read it and weep laugh or whatever.
Introduce myself, explain my series, the NYTimes list, etc.
Never intended to make a career as a self-published author. My first novel was published by small press in 2005, but went out of print 9 months later when the publisher went under.
Shortly before the novel went out of print, I suffered a stroke and developed a rare movement disorder called dystonia.
Despite these setbacks, I kept writing freelance and fiction. I submitted my work to agents and small presses, and kept doing so after I decided to bring my first novel back into print through Lulu.com.
Around the time I got ready to publish through Lulu, I read about publishing ebooks for Kindle on Joe Konrath’s and Lee Goldberg’s blogs. I decided to do so.
I started off pricing my ebooks at $1.59, but dropped the price to $.99 to see if it would help sales. My sales shot through the roof. Naturally, they would compared to the prices charged by publishers, which were unreasonably high. And who wouldn’t try something new, if it was cheap? I was selling myself short, in the hopes of gaining greater exposure. I knew this wasn’t a sustainable business practice, but I hoped that I could come away with something to show for it.
When the New York Times announced it was going to include indie authors on its bestseller list, I kept my prices low and hoped, despite the scoffing of someone who won’t be named. When I actually hit the list, I couldn’t believe it. The whole experience seemed surreal, yet when I contacted local papers with press releases about the news, no one cared.
Here’s what it boils down to: the only reason I made the NY Times list was that I sold a whole lot of downloads cheap for Kindle and Nook. I get 4 and 5 star reviews, so I write the best books I can. I don’t pay for reviews. But I hit the market at the right time, too.
Amazon has used the publishing business’ bad business practices against it to take over. It’s obviously trying to become the one and only publisher, i.e., the ultimate gatekeeper.
I assure you, the speech will go nothing like this one. There will be no tears. I’m no longer taking myself so seriously.
This blog will take a break for Thanksgiving. I’m grateful that I’m able to write and go places and do things. I have a loving husband and a funny sister and an awesome brother, and their kids are awesome. All of them. Each and every one. Please don’t make me type all the names. You know who you are.
UPDATE: Oh, crap! I forgot to mention that yesterday was World Toilet Day. Here’s a weirdlybizarrely curiously an appropriate tune for this post from Nik Nak’s Old Peculiar.
And this quote:
“The principle, in building a sewer system, was of diverting the cause of the mischief to a locality where it can do no mischief.”
Hi there! I really am an idiot. Only an idiot would try to write novels, screenplays and maintain five blogs.
Especially, someone as gimpytechnically-challengedstupidbusyhappy as I am. #iamfoolish
Now, for good or ill, these blogs are my platform, as I describe in my monthly column.
Anyway, I found out today that someone we knew had to have his leg amputated due to a freak accident. And I thought, my God! But I also thought, well, at least he doesn’t have to be tortured constantly. LOL!
I spent the morning begging for spare change seeking contributions on the Internet for this campaign and this campaign.
Then, my husband and I went for a walk. And he’s all worried about our annual doctor’s exams. Like I could give a shit if I live or die at this point. I told him, don’t worry, be happy, I’m sure we’re fine.
He noticed I seemed to be doing my heel-to-toe walking on my gimpy foot better now. I still need to concentrate to do it, but I think he’s right.
Then, we came home and I wrote more words on my fourth novel. Hurray! And I have a writers group tonight. So I need to blog as fast as my gimpy fingers will allow I can.
“The higher Nilus swells, The more it promises; as it ebbs, the seedsman Upon the slime and ooze scatters his grain, And shortly comes the harvest.”
William Shakespeare’s Anthony and Cleopatra, Act II, Scene 7, Line 23
And the perfect video …
PPS: Before anyone leaves a comment, please read this post. And, please note, I’ve dropped the twine since then.
Pretend I’m holding a key to a real TARDIS.
It’s a TARDIS!
UPDATE: I was in such a damned hurry to finish, because I type so fucking slow and dinner was almost ready that I forgot to mention that I told my husband I loved him so much while we were walking. Just like that.
And he also accidentally kicked the cat carrier over when he brought one of our cats back from the vet today. And the carrier tumbled down the driveway, which is really steeply sloped. And the poor kitty, who’s name is Marnie, was so scared, she peed in the carrier.
So … at dinner tonight, my husband wondered, at what point exactly do you suppose she actually peed in the carrier? And it made me think of a story my dead friend Bill used to tell me about a guy falling down some stairs at a party and everyone laughing at him until he gets to the bottom and it turns out that he’s dead. My friend Bill would say, “When did it stop being funny?”
Before I write about the horrible Amazon Studios presentation, I must tell you that I’m retooling my Indiegogo project. I’m seeking as many “like”s as I can get for my series’ Facebook page. If I could get 50 by the end of the weekend, that would be SO awesome.
Thank you in advance!
Now … as to Amazon Studios, I went to the presentation to spy on them out of sheer curiosity, but learned nothing I didn’t already know.
The presenter showed a video of this book trailer. Not this one, but one that was much creepier, actually.
Now, you’d think, really? Not a great way to make a first impression, huh? Especially since the ballroom was freezing cold, to the point where I was looking around for Linda Blair or other possible demonically-possessed people.
Of course, the frigid temps could have been due to the fact that the ballroom was barely half full. Much to my delight surprise.
The presenter said a few words that I don’t remember, then opened the floor to questions from us, the “customers.” That surprised me a bit. I thought the market would be the customers, but it all depends on how you define it, right? Okay …
Well … to put it all in a nutshell and save myself a shitload of typing, it would seem that Amazon doesn’t really want to tell us what its plans are in TV and film, if in fact it has any. But, it is willing to pay you lots of this …
For your screenplay. They want your content, of course. They’ll bend over backwards for good content.
They’re not very clear, however, about their plans. Every answer was prefaced with the words, “Good question!” Then, not answered, really. It seems Amazon wants feedback from its customers, which could be its paying customers or its writers. That got me really confused, but then it didn’t really matter. I was only there out of curiosity.
And then the presenter said that even though Amazon is a tech company, we shouldn’t worry because human beings will review all our submissions, not robots or algorithms or whatever. And I thought …
Well, of course, human beings will review submissions. A computer can’t determine if a story is any good. And if the story outright stinks, the content may as well be worthless.
Hi there! It’s Saturday, and I’ve been working on that teleplay like an idiot. However, this morning, I got to see the funniest movie. It was totally like something you’d see on MST3K, so it made me think of World O’ Crap.
I started watching the movie right about here, actually.
So … all those blonde women are slaves to the brunette women, even though there are 10 times as many of them. So, they could all get together and stage a big blonde coup anytime they wanted to.
And all the men learn to treat women nicely, by being locked up in a cave or something. So … it’s all about dumb gender wars and hair color and so on.
But then … wait for it … after the horrible brunette bitch is killed, the hero touches the white rhino and loses the blonde girl of his dreams. But ends up on the set of Live and Let Die.
Where he eventually hooks up with dream girl again, in a parallel universe, or something.
The end.
Well … that was a pretty crappy not too horrible bad, but I can do better, after the poison kicks in. Really!
Chinese writer Mo Yan won the Nobel Prize for Literature today. Yan’s work, which has been banned in China, was praised by the awarding committee for its “hallucinatory realism.”
Yes, writing is tough. But when you’re an indie, you have to make all the decisions and take responsibility for everything. But you maintain control of your content, which is important. And you get to do what you want with it your way.
Finally, here’s a much less bizarre nicer song with which to end this post from Nik Nak’s Old Peculiar. Yay!
Along with this really hilariousweird awesome quote:
“I am usually very careful about what I wear when I appear on television; I restrict to wearing colours which don’t distract the viewer and so therefore I have two wardrobes at home, one for home and the other for work. I’m not employed to be a shambles”
Fifty million Many years ago, when I wrote this column, I’d written a screenplay for a pilot episode for a TV show. Can you imagine?
So, yesterday, I worked on it a little and today I worked on it some more. And if I’m really luckyinsanedrugged good, perhaps I’ll even enter it into the Scriptapalooza contest for teleplays! Wow!
The deadline is Monday, and my fingers are total crap I have blisters on my fingers. ROFL!
BTW, I have 18 days left to reach my goal of collecting $5,000 for the Sam McRae Mystery Series project. Any contributions of any size at all or RTs or other support would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
And here’s a most awesome quote from Nik Nak’s Old Peculiar, which I couldn’t agree with more:
“Wars are fought by teenagers, you realize that. They really ought to be fought by the politicians and old people who start these wars.”
Hi there! I’ve been reviewing that stroke survivor’s chapter over and over, and I keep thinking I’m writing it all wrong!
But it’s my story, so what can I do?
It’s a personal perspective, not a perspective on writing as a career. Yet, I keep talking about blogging and writing, because they were all part of how I coped with everything.
But then there’s the traveling part and the fundraising part, and it all matters.
And now, for good or ill, I have to finish it up and send it off to the editor. Who is my former doctor, actually. I hope he likes it. Or, at least, doesn’t totally hate it.
And I’ve sort of finished one MSM review. Now I just have to finish the other book and write another review. And everything has to be done by Oct. 1. No problem!
My monthly column is done, and I must send it in. Soon.
Quick, before my hand falls off, I want to mention a few things from around the Web:
There’s the awesome cover of the latest novel, in case you forgot.
And can you believe I’m actually considering submitting the YA novel to this press? Maybe. It’s not really a mystery. More like suspense and coming-of-age. We’ll see.
Hi there! That’s a really old picture of me signing the first edition of IDENTITY CRISIS. The one published by the press that bit the dust went out of business nine freaking months after my book was published.
I will keep this short, as my day has been spent on spreading the word about the Sam McRae Mystery Series, revising the chapter on a stroke survivor’s personal perspective for that medical book (again and again!), writing an MSM review that I’ll probably revise 2 or 3 times, because I’m nuts, and trying to stay sane, because everything is due by Oct. 1. And I’m still reading one of the books I need to review. No problem!
Have I mentioned this book? MAKING STORY. 21 writers on how they plot novels. Yes, I’m one of them. No, I’m not typing the whole title. I’m too gimpy tiredbusy happy.
Furthermore, what would I have done without all the great people who have provided blurbs, reviews, encouragement, and so much more. People I know personally, as well as those I’ve never met, but who have emailed or tweeted me. For none of us is perfect, right?
"Midlist is a term in the publishing industry which refers to books which are not bestsellers but are strong enough to economically justify their publication (and likely, further purchases of future books from the same author). The vast majority of total titles published are midlist titles, though they represent a much smaller fraction of total book sales, which are dominated by bestsellers and other very popular titles. Authors who consistently publish acceptable but not bestselling books are referred to as Midlist authors." ~ Wikipedia
Well, I think it’s time to drop the proverbial curtain on the show, as it were. Ha ha ha …
