Just Keep Going (Updated)

Hi there! I woke up late this morning and kept falling back to sleep. I was having a dream that seemed so real, I thought I was awake, except I didn’t have dystonia, so I knew that was too good to be true. So, I woke up again. And cats were on me. So … I kept going back to sleep, until I finally woke up for good and said, okay enough already! Get up, you!

Then, I read my many, many emails (after breakfast and a one-handed shower, of course), including one from Indiegogo, who has been nice enough to tell me I’m doing a really crappy job I need to raise my Gogo factor higher bug more people to give my campaign money. Even $1!

Here’s the cover of the latest book to remind you what that’s all about.

Well, I shall endeavor to persevere.

And I have continued to work on that chapter for the medical book on stroke recovery. The personal perspective? Remember? Here are a few more excerpts. I promise not to bore you with this again, okay? Honest!

            Many well-meaning people suggest I use speech recognition software. This advice is actually contrary to my best interests in the long run. Because my dystonia was caused by a stroke, it makes more sense for me to keep typing. In this way, I hope to retrain my brain, like other stroke patients.

            This concept has not only been supported by my doctors, but by a book I read called Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain by Sharon Begley. This book led me to seek alternative solutions to western medicine.

            One of the most frustrating aspects of trying to get good information about my condition has been the lack of communication between researchers. I’m assuming this failure to share knowledge is probably due to the competitive nature of research done in order to win prizes, grants or other professional or financial compensation.

            For me, the most interesting part of the book was learning that the Dalai Lama held an annual neuroscience conference. Along with discussing how stroke patients can retrain their brains due to brain plasticity, the book explored the potential for eastern medicine, meditation, and Buddhist techniques to aid in stroke recovery. Although dystonia wasn’t mentioned in the book, I wondered if anyone at the Dalai Lama’s Institute had even heard of my condition.

            I looked up the Dalai Lama’s Institute online and sent them an email asking if they knew about dystonia. To my surprise, they responded. However, they knew nothing about dystonia.

            This disheartened me, and not only because dystonia is the third-most common movement disorder. It just seemed to stand to reason that the Institute would be seeking solutions for a neurological problem that western medicine was incapable of treating adequately.

            I even went so far as to try to contact Sharon Begley, but my email to her didn’t go through. So often when I read news about brain research that didn’t solve what I thought was a genuine problem, I’d wonder why they did it, when people with dystonia were desperately seeking solutions. After a while, I had to stop asking that question. I could go mad, continuing to wonder why the medical and research community didn’t have its act together.

            As a result, I had to simply go on with the capabilities I still possessed and a whole lot of unanswered questions. This meant that the best I could do was try things and hoped that they made a difference. I tried all sorts of alternative therapies, ranging from acupuncture to acupressure to neuro-feedback to nutritional supplements. I also tried a variety of pharmaceuticals. Everything I tried involved time and/or money. Each time I tried something, I’d hope for even the slightest improvement, only to have my hopes dashed.

Yes, sad, isn’t it? Boo hoo.

Let’s go down to the part where I started my fourth blog.

            At one point, I told a colleague that I had three blogs that I was posting to every day. She thought I should cut back on my blogging and suggested posting on a less frequent basis. This made sense, because I knew other bloggers didn’t post to their blogs every day. What I did was schedule certain days for posting on each of my blogs. This way, I could keep the content fresh and keep using them to establish my online presence.

            Nonetheless, I was so determined to make a living as a writer through freelancing that I actually thought of establishing my expertise in a narrower niche. Since I had both interest and expertise on environmental issues, as a former land use attorney and EPA lawyer, this seemed like a great subject in which to specialize. I often thought the media did a bad job of covering health and environmental issues, due to oversimplification of the science or poor research. Too often, the media cite research studies and portray them as infallible answers to questions. Any scientist or lawyer who’s represented them can tell you that studies can be manipulated to create data to support a pre-ordained position.

            So, even as I questioned the wisdom of doing so, I started a fourth blog called Green Reality Check. The Internet featured any number of green living and sustainability blogs, but I wanted to do something different. My blog’s purpose, at least at first, was to pin down, to the extent possible, where the fallacies lurked in the concept of the terms “green” and “sustainable”. I even took an online class in environmental writing. Plus I continued to write freelance. In fact, my first assignment was a revision of a legal treatise called Powell on Real Property. I revised three sections about various environmental laws. As a result, the editors continued to assign me other projects. However, if I wanted to be an environmental writer, I’d have to reach out and try to query other possible clients.

            Therefore, along with trying to find clients through networking on and offline, I was now posting to four blogs. I was also scanning headlines for news items and blog posts that could provide material for any of the blogs. This kept me well-informed of developments on a wide array of topics, including politics, publishing, bookselling, writing, sustainability, environmentalism, nature conservation, films, book reviews, travel, health news and dystonia.

            Between the onslaught of information I was picking through, the physical demands of all the work and the overall stress of everything, I was already feeling a bit overwhelmed. But I refused to give up. I wanted so much to write fiction and get my book back in print again. And write a whole series based on the character I’d created.

            One of the most frustrating hurdles I faced when my novel went out of print was that many agents didn’t seem interested in representing my out-of-print novel, despite the unusual circumstances and the potential to create a whole series of books based on the protagonist, which was what mystery readers tend to like.

            Despite this, I revised a previous novel to make it the sequel and wrote the third novel in the series. Then, at the suggestion of various agents, I wrote two stand-alone novels. I was at a loss for where to go next, so I just kept writing, submitting queries and getting rejections. The process reminded me of the old maxim: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”

            I learned over time that I had to conserve my strength and focus on the positive things in life. I had to stay focused on getting the job done and not be distracted by wasted gestures and activities. I believe that over time this failure to acknowledge my own frustration and rage at my situation ultimately hurt me. I was so focused on proving to myself that I still had what it took to succeed, that I needed a way to ridicule myself for lack of other outlets.

            The one time I had spoken to a shrink about my condition, he said, “Well, it won’t kill you, right?” Right, doc. It’ll only make you wish you were dead. Every damn day. For the rest of your life. And I was young. And it wasn’t fair.

            Hell, there were nights I’d pray (even though I didn’t believe in God and cursed the non-existent God’s name on more than one occasion), “Please, let me die in my sleep tonight.” But I didn’t nor did I kill myself, because I felt I had a mission. And killing myself would be a waste of my potential. My life would’ve amounted to nothing. And my husband and family would suffer.

            But I couldn’t talk about it, for fear of sounding ungrateful. Dystonia sufferers all differ, so I could truly empathize with them, but it was hard to explain my particular predicament. None of my writer friends truly understood my pain. On top of which, I felt guilty, because I knew others suffered much more than I did.

            When I decided to self-publish my out-of-print novel, I hit upon an idea for a blog to market myself as an author. I called the blog, My Life on the Mid-List in homage to Kathy Griffin. I thought it was because Kathy Griffin was doing the kinds of things authors did all the time, in order to promote themselves. Events and so on. She made a joke of her own life and it worked out for her. I thought that idea had possibilities, though I wasn’t sure how well it would work for a writer.

            However, I’d reached the point where my own life seemed so ridiculous, the only thing I could think to do was laugh at my calamities. And so I began my fifth blog.

            Significantly, the very first thing I posted after the initial post was called “There’s No Crying in Publishing”.  Essentially, it was a humorous diatribe that said, “You think you have problems? Try being me.”

            I look at that now and realize I was a very angry person, who had to laugh at her own life or go mad. However, at the time, I was so consumed with presenting myself as being strong and capable, despite my disability, I failed to address the now obvious emotional issues I was burying beneath the humor.

            All the while I’d been freelancing, I was writing fiction and sending queries to agents and reputable small publishers. I started my fifth blog in June 2009, along with self-publishing my out-of-print first novel, in a bid to establish a readership while I was seeking an agent or new publisher. The book had received a handful of great reviews from various publications. It also got some rave online reviews from readers.

            My blog became my forum for sending up the bizarre nature of the publishing world. In the process, I discovered how to self-publish my work as ebooks. This wasn’t part a big plan on my part. I stumbled across the information by reading blogs about the subject. As a writer seeking a readership, it only made sense to me to take advantage of new technology to create, market and sell my books.

            It didn’t take long for me to figure out that if I priced my ebooks low, I could make more money from volume sales. So, I took this approach, in the hopes that selling my ebooks cheaply would generate more sales, which hopefully would lead to more and better word of mouth about the books. When I started to see significant financial results, I threw myself even harder toward succeeding as a fiction writer. I continued to revise and write novels, which included two sequels to my first book and two stand-alone novels. I also wrote the occasional short story, some of which were published in anthologies.

            Eventually, I grew tired of waiting for the publishing world to accept me. I decided to take the leap to self-publishing all my novels.

            This felt like a huge gamble to me. Up until then, I would never have thought to self-publish all my work, let alone start trying to earn a living from fiction writing, before I’d had time to build a more substantial readership. However, blogging was my therapy. Furthermore, once I saw how well self-publishing ebooks could pay, if you played your cards right, I figured all the effort I was putting toward freelancing could be better spent establishing my credentials as an author.

            So, I approached fiction writing and marketing the same way I did when I was freelancing. I looked for ways to sell my work, on and offline. In the process, I discovered that many approaches authors took to marketing their work were time-consuming, and required both physical stamina and social skills, both of which I was pushing to the limit. My secret disorder made it all the harder to keep going to events that didn’t pay off financially or doing things the old-fashioned way, such as driving all over creation to book signings, book festivals and other traditional selling venues.

            I began to rely increasingly on technology, the Internet, blogging and Twitter to sell my work. It required far less time and was much more cost-efficient than the usual ways of getting the work out there.

            I also gave myself a tongue-in-cheek motivational speech on my own blog by writing that I wasn’t going to let Helen Keller totally kick my ass. This was my way of laughing at my misfortune while acknowledging its existence. It was my way of saying, “I have a problem, but you’re not going to catch me crying about it.”

            While I gained financially, having hit the ebook market early enough to avoid the huge competition new authors face now, I lost touch with people. At least, my face-to-face dealings with them were minimized so much, I began to feel like a hermit. However, I got to know people online, which seemed like enough for a while.

            It soon got to the point where the only times I stepped away from the computer was on weekends, at writers conferences and for the odd special occasion. I literally had to pencil in relaxation time. I forced myself to do other things, because I feared becoming a complete shut-in. I yearned for the time when relaxation and fun came so simply. Yet, going out to parties and other social events requires that you always be on. I had to bite my tongue many times to keep from shouting my frustration to one hapless person or other, who couldn’t see the ordeal all the fun was for me.

            Clearly, I was becoming consumed by my work and Internet interactions, to the point where I was losing touch with people right in my own backyard. It’s hard not to seek release through the freedom of speech the Internet grants you when you’re suffering and you have no idea if it will ever stop.

            For nearly seven years, I conducted business this way. I kept writing, blogging and suffering silently. I think I found meaning and purpose in doing things for people online. Engaging in random acts of kindness on the Internet seemed to help me work through my own sorrows. It was also smart marketing and networking, in my opinion. And I could do it from home, without worries about how happy I looked, responding appropriately on the fly, physical exertion and myriad other things I’d always taken for granted before I developed a movement disorder.

            Eventually, my work wore me down and I had to face my own demons. The turning point may have come while I was attending a regional dystonia conference. I was fast reaching the end of my rope, when I heard a speaker talking about acupuncture.

            I’d done acupuncture before, so I wasn’t terribly hopeful when I sat in on the session. However, the presenter got me thinking about it again. His position was that you needed to see a practitioner that knew dystonia and was right for you. Acupuncture takes a highly subjective approach to treatment and cure. Not only is it more holistic than western medicine, but it emphasizes individualized care, based upon factors specific to each patient.

            In other words, the only way to find out if acupuncture could help me was to find the right practitioner and give it a real shot. This had to be with the understanding that each patient requires a different approach. Each acupuncturist takes different approaches to the same set of symptoms. I think it’s this lack of standardized care that makes acupuncture so suspect or seemingly unworthy of being taken seriously by western medicine and traditional physicians.

            However, I’d arrived at the point where I had to take responsibility and change the way I was treating and coping with my health problems. Simply writing, blogging and marketing weren’t cutting it anymore.

            So, between my husband’s and my efforts, we were able to find an acupuncture clinic that treated stroke and movement disorders right at the hospital where I was going for traditional medical care. After a time, I noticed acupuncture seemed to provide small amounts of relief. While it didn’t fix the problem, I could feel a difference in my capabilities. These benefits took time to register on my radar. In addition, when my acupuncturist tested my grip after I underwent several months of treatment, even I could tell there were small improvements that I hadn’t noticed and wouldn’t have if he hadn’t bothered to check for them.

            On top of this, acupuncture helped my overall relaxation and improved my mood, to an extent. I’m assuming that the theory would be that by balancing my body’s chi, acupuncture was treating my problems overall, at both a physical and emotional level.

            I began to notice that after a session, I’d have thoughts that seemed almost revelatory. I started blogging about my post-acupuncture thoughts, because they seemed important and I wanted to share information, as usual.

            These were thoughts I posted on my first blog, because I could write about anything there. So, in effect, that blog became like an online shrink, a place where I could vent about my problems and breakthroughs. However, I didn’t limit myself to talking about dystonia. I continued to fear being shunned or categorized, based upon my health problems. Further, I’d reached a point in my writing career where I had achieved enough success to where I was being taken seriously by my peers in the business. So, I worried about making too much of my condition on one blog, while marketing myself as an author on another. Given the still unhappy state of my physical and mental health, I’d begun discussing my problems more openly on my author blog. Always I would turn my problems into a joke, because the whole purpose of the blog was to laugh at my own misfortunes. This approach worked until it didn’t.

            I eventually became so worn down by exertion and emotional baggage that I became depressed. When it reached the point where I couldn’t bear to move or do anything, I realized I needed more help than acupuncture alone could provide. However, I think acupuncture helped me understand that my moods were my responsibility. Thus, by blogging and getting acupuncture, I was realizing things about myself and sharing those thoughts online. In this way, my Random and Sundry Things blog became a virtual sounding board in which I did a slow turnaround in my mood and coping with my condition. However, this took time.

            By the end of 2011, I’d reached an epic low outlook, when I decided to start taking antidepressants. I’d tried them before and, for some reason, chose not to keep taking them. However, when I realized that I’d become so depressed that I could barely muster the strength to get up in the morning, I knew I had to do something. So, I took another crack at managing my moods through pharmaceuticals.

            A few things happened, all at once, that turned me around.

            The first thing I noticed was that I was willing to try new approaches to my work. In fact, I seemed to find new resolve in taking the mood-enhancing drugs. But the drugs weren’t the only thing that changed my outlook. The acupuncture was bringing out long-buried thoughts and feelings that I needed to work through, as well as providing some relief from my physical symptoms.

            By that time, I’d enjoyed more financial success as a fiction writer than I’d ever have thought possible as a new author with two novels and a handful of short stories. I was on the cusp of publishing my third novel in an increasingly competitive fiction writing market. And I could already read the writing on the wall. The boom days of self-publishing ebooks were over. My huge success the previous year, along with making the New York Times ebook bestseller list, were temporary states of being for an author who couldn’t or wouldn’t crank out books as fast as possible or, in essence, sell out to Amazon, a company that was poised to monopolize the publishing business.

            The publishing world had changed, in both good ways and bad. Now, everyone was jumping aboard the self-publishing bandwagon. This made it much harder for any one author to stand out, especially one without much name recognition. Unless you were willing to sign up for Amazon’s Kindle Select program, which I chose not to do.

            I wouldn’t do this, because publishing had changed. Amazon was clearly the dominant player in the ebook market, and it owned a number of publishing imprints, too. Anyone who was watching the market could see that Amazon was poised to take over publishing with help from authors, who called themselves indies, ironically. In fact, anyone who read the news could see that Amazon had far more than publishing and retailing on its plate. However, Amazon’s Kindle Select program requires participants to sell exclusively through Amazon. Thus, authors who sought success through the program were simply playing right into Amazon’s take-over strategy.

            The pressure was on for me to adjust to changing times, even as I struggled with my own physical and emotional problems. However, I wouldn’t compromise the value of my books or my personal values while making those adjustments.

            For all the years I’d been writing and selling fiction, I was shocked to read that some people considered self-published authors to be part of a cult or weird alternative lifestyle type movement. The publishing world seemed to be dismissing us out of hand. At least, at first, until it became obvious that self-published authors were actually smart entrepreneurs, who knew how to market and sell their work, as well as create it.

            By the time I started taking antidepressants, I was looking for new outlets. Something to rejuvenate my passion for my work. I’d already focused more on improving my blogging and was seeing results in terms of attracting new followers and other bloggers who liked what they saw or left comments. At that point, I realized that blogging was like publishing, but different. Bloggers could gravitate toward one another, based on their shared interests, passions or most horrible moments. They could, in essence, be like an online support group. In January 2012, I registered for an indie film seminar that covered all the details of planning, financing and creating films as an independent producer. Even though I’d never thought about producing films, the seminar seemed like a good way to step away from my computer, meet new people and learn the ropes of the film business. I also had not only a feature film script, but hopes that someday my novels might be turned into movies.

            In short, I fell back upon what I knew about personal networking. In my opinion, there’s no substitute for going places and actually meeting people. I’d found this to be true, before I got dystonia when I attended more writer’s conferences and events.

            So I attended the seminar and learned about film production. I even realized that I could be a film producer if I chose to be, since it entailed using the same skills as organizing a fundraiser, something I’d actually done before. This realization was such a positive affirmation in itself that I blogged about it, and even attributed my dystonia as the spark that set things in motion.

            My thinking was that if not for getting dystonia, I wouldn’t have organized the fundraiser, thus I never would have realized my own ability to be a producer. However, this epiphany was just one of many to come related to my dystonia.

            I realized that coping with a bad condition was up to me. I realized that I could adapt and thrive, despite everything, if I wanted to.

            Given what I’d learned about film production, it was only a matter of time before I realized that the same skills applied to producing books. And since I was actually a book producer, because I published my books under my own publishing imprint, all I had to do was use Internet resources to distribute them.

            At the film seminar, I learned about crowdsourcing. This gave me an idea that I thought could result in a win for me, for readers, bookstores and authors. And I thought it was the perfect solution for self-published authors. One that wouldn’t create an Amazon monopoly, but would allow authors to distribute and sell books directly to readers.

            This development was so positive I got right to work thinking about how I’d structure it. It could even be done in a way that would support bookstores, libraries and literacy groups that contributed.

            Part of the reason I thought this could work is that I have hand sold and donated books on the Internet to places as far away as England and Australia, because I’ve gotten to know people living in those countries through blogging and social media.

            This knowledge in itself was a powerful affirmation of what anyone could do on the Internet. However, I didn’t want my entire life to revolve around my computer. So, in the summer of 2012, I decided it was time to take a trip to Ireland and the UK. I left my laptop behind, and made plans to meet author friends I’d gotten to know only online.

            I was even fortunate enough to meet a reader in England whose blog I read regularly. The salutary effects of traveling, experiencing other cultures and meeting new people cannot be understated. I came back from that vacation feeling reinvigorated and more confident that I could accomplish my goals, despite whatever setbacks I might experience trying to reach them.

            Learning to cope with post-stroke dystonia has been and continues to be a process. I think of myself as a work-in-progress. As long as I can keep my spirits up and keep my work, play and life balanced, I figure I’ll be okay.

            In my wildest dreams, I would love to meet with the Dalai Lama and tell him about dystonia, so the subject could be covered at the next neurological conference. I also wish that western and eastern medicine would combine forces to find more effective ways to deal with post-stroke disorders.

Yeah, it’s still a shitty draft, but I’m working on it. Of course, I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing, but I’ll keep doing it and hoping.

Zadie Smith’s 10 Rules of Writing really sums it up.

Zadie Smith

And check out the sidebar. Is this an interesting coincidence or what?

Elmore Leonard wins great big awesome book award! Yay!!!

The awesome Elmore Leonard

I can’t thank Elmore Leonard enough for Jackie Brown! Ha ha ha …

And way #furiouslyhappy kudos to TheBloggess Jenny Lawson on selling the sequel to her first book, to be titled FURIOUSLY HAPPY. Awesome!

I actually attended one of Jenny Lawson’s book signings, where I managed to sputter a few words to her about having a stroke at a Barnes & Noble and gave her copies of my first novel and a Doctor Who book.

The Bloggess and me (in terrible lighting).

Don’t worry about finding the words, Jenny. But I don’t have to tell you that, do I?

I wonder what Judge Denise Cote would think of this.

Oh, I believe this could work really well. Subsidies usually do. But Judge Denise Cote, in her wisdom, doesn’t believe in cartels. She will, however, allow a technology company to monopolize publishing and subsidize its authors. Go figure, huh? Ha ha ha …

What was I saying about publishing and writing being a crazy an awesome way to make a living?

BTW, the reader in England is, of course, Paul Downie, who observed Talk Like a Pirate Day on his blog yesterday.

And I love Adam Ant and Johnny Depp, so here you go!

Wow! Has it really been a year?

PS: Any thoughts from the UK on these pics?

UPDATE: And in completely unrelated news, the Nats have made history!

And baseball karma has been satisfied.

 

 

The Sunshine Blogger Award

Thanks, Caren!

Hi there! As I mentioned previously, Caren Kennedy has been kind enough to nominate this blog for the above award. Isn’t that awesome?

As a writer and blogger, I think these awards are awesome, because they help spread the word about one another and to our readers.

But enough of my bullshit from me. Ha ha ha … #iamfoolish

Let’s go to the questions.

1. What is your favourite Christmas/festive movie?

Miracle on 34th Street. The original with Edmund Gwenn, the real Santa Claus. Ha ha ha …

2. What is your favourite flower?

Iceplant. Maybe. Or roses. Or lilacs. Or daffodils. Whatever. Ha ha ha …

3. What is your favourite non-alcoholic beverage?

Espresso! Hands down.

4. What is your passion?

Living!

5. What is your favourite time of year?

Late spring, when many trees start to bloom.

6. What is your favourite time of day?

Morning and early evening, when I can watch the hummingbirds from my porch.

7. What is your favourite physical activity?

Walking. I love to walk almost anywhere.

8. What is your favourite vacation?

The one I just took! And the next one, wherever I might go.

The awesome Caren Kennedy and me, in Dublin.

And now to link to the blogs I nominate:

I’ll Have What She’s Having

CJ West

One Rounded Corner of the Writing World

My Boog Pages

The Vandal

Suspense Your Disbelief

My Other Career

The British Are Coming, Y’all!

Sasscer Hill

Nik Nak’s Old Peculiar

World O’ Crap

Crengux

Cabbage thing

I think that does it! Wow!

Thank you!

PS: Here’s the real new final and most awesome trailer for RED RIBBONS by Louise Phillips!

 

A Happy Fool’s Flag Day

Hi there! I just happened to notice that it’s Flag Day. I wasn’t planning to have a big fancy celebration, actually. Not that I don’t love my country. I do, but I don’t have to hire a band or hold a party for the flag to prove I love my country, you know?

But I digress …

My point is that I forgot to mention one other thing that good old Barry Eisler failed to bring up, when I wrote this post.

I failed to point out that Amazon is a great, big mammoth technology company that got the jump on the publishing industry. An industry that uses a business model so retarded stupid, it’s only survived because authors have been willing to do anything at all just to have a damn publisher. No matter how horribly they treated them, they wanted believed they needed a publisher, to be a “real author,” dammit all.”

Professor Kingsfield would be sooo disappointed. He’d no doubt say, “Ms. Mack, you didn’t come prepared. Here’s a dime. Go call your mother and tell her that you just don’t have what it takes to be a soldier author blogger publisher lawyer.” Or whatever. Ha ha ha …

Well … Professor Kingsfield can kiss my ass. Because I’ve earned my stripes as a blogger, by getting this award.

Isn’t that awesome? And guess what. This blog has been nominated, too. OMFG!!!!

Thank you, Paul Downie. You’re awesome.

I will fulfill the requirements in my next post, okay?

And indie authors, please note I’ve posted a short bit about the importance of blogging in building an author platform in this post.

I’m so overwhelmed gimpy happy, I can barely type this post.

However, here are a few news headlines:

The Justice Department has closed the books on this case. Let’s move on, okay?

Broccoli lands on the Supreme Court docket.

Google wants love and Apple wants apple. Amazon wants it all.

And, finally, here’s a most interesting article from the Wall Street Journal. (I will quote some of it.)

The Justice Department is conducting a wide-ranging antitrust investigation into whether cable companies are acting improperly to quash nascent competition from online video, according to people familiar with the matter.

Justice Department officials have spoken to several online video providers, including Netflix Inc. NFLX -0.27% and Hulu LLC, those people said. Investigators have also questioned Comcast Corp., CMCSA +2.43% Time Warner Cable Inc. TWC +1.17% and other cable companies about issues such as setting data caps, limits to the amount of data a subscriber can download each month, these people said.

Representatives of all those companies and the Justice Department declined to comment on the investigation.

Cable companies provide both television channels and high-speed Internet access for many consumers in the U.S. With broadband Internet, consumers can watch individual programs or channels through online video services like Netflix, Hulu or Amazon, bypassing the cable company’s traditional bundles of channels.

Having invested billions of dollars building their networks, some pay-TV companies have shown little inclination to get out of the business of packaging television channels and become mere conduits for other companies’ data. Some major entertainment companies also have an interest in preserving the current model of television viewing because they want cable companies to take bundles of their channels, rather than just cherry-picking the most popular ones.

The Justice Department probe highlights how the shifts in decades-old patterns of television viewing are shaking the tightly regulated industry. Decisions in Washington could play a role in determining how quickly the new video services spread and what form they take.

Already the Justice Department’s Antitrust Division has jolted another fast-growing Internet industry, e-book publishing, by bringing a lawsuit alleging that publishers and Apple Inc. AAPL -0.10% colluded to fix prices. In April, several publishers settled the charges while Apple and other publishers continue to fight the suit.

Interesting, isn’t it? Especially since Amazon is getting into filmmaking and TV programming and Netflix and all that stuff. But I guess the Justice Department didn’t come prepared for class must have missed the connection somehow.

The Justice Department also is investigating the contracts that programmers sign in order to be distributed on cable systems. Some contracts include so-called most-favored nation clauses, which make programmers give the biggest cable companies the best price they are offering anywhere, among other conditions. The Justice Department is questioning whether there are legitimate business reasons for such terms or whether they are intended to stop programmers from experimenting with other forms of online distribution, a person familiar with the matter said.

Most-favored-nation clauses are also an issue in the e-books case, where Apple sought to ensure that publishers gave the Apple online bookstore the best price available.

Attorney General Eric Holder on Tuesday suggested he had sympathy for those who want to “cut the cord” rather than paying for cable channels they don’t watch. At a Senate hearing, Sen. Al Franken (D., Minn.) said cable bills are “out of control” and consumers want to watch TV and movies online. Mr. Holder responded, “I would be one of those consumers.”

Mr. Holder, here’s a dime. I suggest you call your mother and tell her the Justice Department doesn’t know what the fuck it’s doing.

Meanwhile, I’m working like a dog really hard to get the print edition of RIPTIDE published this month. Honest!

In gratitude and acknowledgement to Paul for all his kind support, here’s a song I remember fondly from way back when, which he posted on his blog.

And to all my subscribers and frequent readers, thank you SO much! Hopefully, there will be no updates, because I’m a lazy bastard. Ah ha ha ha …

PS: Perhaps this is the more appropriate song?

 

Real Friends are Awesome

As a blogger and author who’s published ebooks, I’ve been privileged (sp?) to make many friends on the Internet. And many of these friends are people who’ve become readers and that’s been awesome.

Of course, I haven’t met each and every one of my readers, because that would be impracticable, if not impossible.

Having said that, I am lucky enough to personally know many authors. And I’d like to extend my sincere congratulations to a few of them right now on this here blog.

First of all, major congrats to B.V. Lawson and Art Taylor, who both won Derringer Awards. (Though why Art isn’t on this list isn’t explained. But does it really matter?) Both authors are members of Sisters in Crime, Chesapeake Chapter, a group so awesome that it always gets mentioned in the acknowledgments of my novels. Really!

And Donna Andrews, who’s also a Chessie Chapter member, won a Lefty Award, too. Awesome!

In fact, Sisters in Crime is so awesome, they even consider me a successful author. Enough for me to appear on this panel. I cannot thank them enough for that.

All the above authors are also members of the Mid-Atlantic Chapter of MWA, which has an email list where these awesome things were announced, too.

Finally, my good friend and fellow writers group member Sasscer Hill, got this awesome review for her book, RACING FROM DEATH.

And how about that awesome cover? Which this gimpy-fingered author didn’t find with the review. Hint, hint, Sasscer. #marketing101 #blogging #internet

And I must add here that Sasscer really does know horses, because she’s raised them and raced them herself.

And I really wish she’d had a chance to see this really awesome show.

 

A Few Macavity Nominees …

For those who don’t know, the Macavity Award nominations for 2011 were recently announced. Every year, the nominees are chosen and the winners voted on by Mystery Readers International.

The winners will be announced at Bouchercon, the big mystery convention coming up in September. I’ll be there this year … and I can actually afford the cost this time. Yippee!!

Anyhow, even though a lot of indie authors say that awards don’t matter, that’s really not the issue.

Some of the nominees have written books I’ve read and that I happen to like very much. And, for various reasons, I think they merit an award.

If you check the list of nominees, you’ll note under “Best Mystery Novel” the book THE QUEEN OF PATPONG by Timothy Hallinan. Now, if anyone deserves an award, it’s Tim Hallinan for any number of reasons. (Like making the anthology SHAKEN happen, for instance.) But trust me, this book is totally awesome. Just read my review.

Now, if you scroll down to “Best First Mystery Novel,” you’ll see the book FULL MORTALITY by Sasscer Hill.  Sasscer Hill is, in fact, someone who critiques my work and vice versa. And I make it a policy not to write reviews of work I’ve critiqued.

However, I’ve read the book and it totally merited the Agatha nomination it received, because it was in my opinion an awesome read. Particularly since Sasscer knows horses so well as you can see from this interview here on Writers Who Kill.

Okay, so if you keep scrolling down to “Best Mystery Short Story,” you’ll see one called “Bookworm” by G.M. Malliett from CHESAPEAKE CRIMES: THEY HAD IT COMIN’.

Needless to say, I’ve read all the great stories in this book and am particularly familiar with one.

I’m very pleased that one of the anthology contributors was nominated for this award! It reflects well on the book, as well as the Chesapeake Chapter of Sisters in Crime.

Finally, scroll down to “Sue Feder Memorial Historical Mystery” and you’ll see the book THE FIFTH SERVANT by Kenneth Wishnia. This book represents, not only a big departure from the usual for Ken, but also the culmination of years of research and writing.

I think his efforts paid off handsomely, as I’ve discussed in my review of the book.

Here’s the thing. It doesn’t matter what you or I or anyone else thinks about awards. Awards mean something to those being honored.

Doesn’t that count for something?

 

I’ve Been Fingered!

Okay, so the other day, I was on Twitter and I noticed @fingers_murphy (a fellow author and lawyer — yay for the author-lawyers!) who’s written a novel called FOLLOW THE MONEY had tweeted something about this.

OMG, I had been nominated for the “Not a Cookie Cutter Blog Award”! I simply couldn’t believe my eyes!

Naturally, I was mortified honored beyond belief. Who is this guy, Ken Hoss? What the f*ck was he thinking?

Now being that Fingers Murphy is a fellow indie author and lawyer (bonus points, dude! ), PLUS his name provides the opportunity for many really terrible puns and clever allusions, I can’t simply ignore this award, now can I? Of course not.

Okay, so here goes. Fingers, I have to hand *rimshot* it to you. You couldn’t have picked a more interesting time to nominate me for this award. And having accepted same, may I now offer a handshake *rimshot* and a high five? *rimshot*

Right now, I’m trying to: 1) get ready for a big book launch on Wednesday, June 15 (mark your calendars! ); 2) promote an awesome new anthology called SHAKEN for a good cause; 3) market my work; 4) read and review books; 5) check my email and do all my usual crap; 6) somehow manage to write something (ha ha …); 7) stay sane and have a life (uh, yeah, right …).

Oh, ow … did I mention the part about having one and a half hands? *rimshot* (??) Yeah, I know. Boo hoo, right?

It doesn’t matter. I’m up to the challenge. I’m not one to knuckle *rimshot* under when the pressure’s on. So, bring it on, baby! Let’s go to the requirements.

1. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.

Well, that’s easy enough. Here’s Fingers Murphy’s blog, El Dedo Grande! Thanks so much, Fingers! Really! Awesome name, BTW. On both counts.

2. Dance around in circles and sing, “It’s a small world” while eating a chocolate cupcake.

Oh, God, I hate that song! Please don’t make me do that!

3. Disregard #2

Thank you SO much!

4. Share 5 things you do in your spare time. (Providing you have any spare time.)

Spare time? I vaguely remember what that is. I think I still have some lying around somewhere. Along with the spare change that’s fallen down the cracks between the sofa cushions.

Yeah, I do have some. Here’s what I like to do when I have it:

1. Watch birds (especially hummingbirds) on my back porch.

2. Take walks.

3. Watch movies.

4. Watch baseball. (Lets go Nats and Mets. Yeah, I know they’re direct competitors. But I’m a mass of contradictions. )

5. Travel to interesting places. (Occasionally, I take clumps of spare time and put them together to form one big clump of spare time. That way I can go someplace and see something and do something completely different than normal. Which is awesome.)

5. Pass this award along to 5 deserving blog buddies.

I had to think about this. Hmm … who can I palm *rimshot* this award off on? So, after due consideration, I came up with five nominees who seemed appropriate and even fulfilled Fingers’ seventh (self-imposed) requirement that (and I quote) they be blogs which “as far as I know, have not been nominated already.” Okay, so, here’s my list of victims buddies (in no particular order):

One Rounded Corner

Indie IQ

Simon Sez

Weblog of Zoe Winters

Vincent Zandri Vox

6. Contact them and let them know.

Trust me, I’ll get around to it. Eventually.

Well, I guess that nails things down. *rimshot* (Oh dear, the drummer came in late. He must have been shooting up in the back be getting tired.)

And, in conclusion, I say that authors should support each other. Especially indie authors. And most especially fellow members of the bar who write fiction! Huzzah! Fist pump! *rimshot*

PS: Thanks in advance for being such a good sport, Fingers! And Ken? You realize I’m just pulling your leg, of course. *rimshot* (??)

 

Three Awesome Things

Now, with a headline like that, I usually have something awesome to say about IDENTITY CRISIS (or IDENTITY CRISIS in the UK), LEAST WANTED (or LEAST WANTED in the UK), or even my short story collection FIVE UNEASY PIECES (or FIVE UNEASY PIECES in the UK). However, in this case, I’d like to shine the spotlight on three other authors who’ve each done things that are really awesome in their own right. So … in no particular order, here they are …

Simon Wood, who also has a great blog. Now, without going into details, let’s just say he’s been going through a rough patch over the past year. And Simon is a talented author. Just take a look at the  editorial reviews and product description for ACCIDENTS WAITING TO HAPPEN. See what I mean? Okay, so this book (along with Simon’s other great books) was lingering (loitering? whatever …) down in the Amazon rankings for a long time. And I felt really bad, because early on Simon was nice enough to do this for me.

Now, you see how happy that simple act made me? So, when Simon was suffering and his books were down in the ranks, I kept thinking, “C’mon, Simon. Your books can do better. I know they can.”

I think I probably mentioned it to him, now and then.

Well, things have turned around in a big way. And I think you’ll agree that Simon’s book is now ranked impressively high …

ACCIDENTS WAITING TO HAPPEN is now the #1 hardboiled mystery in the Kindle Store on Amazon.com! That’s not at all shabby.

Second, Jenny Milchman. If you don’t recognize the name, it’s because she’s a new and upcoming author. And talented? Don’t get me started. I wrote a review of her latest Kindle short, an awesome suspense read called “The Very Old Man” that you should check out.

Here’s the big news, however. Jenny’s signed a deal to have her first mystery novel COVER OF SNOW published by Ballantine Books. I’ll let you know the release date as soon as I find out and will most likely run a review on that other blog where I do that sort of thing.

I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am for Jenny and how proud I am to see her accomplish this. I should mention here that Jenny also has a blog called Suspense Your Disbelief. Jenny was not only kind enough to feature me there early on in a “Made it Moment” (before I’d even come close! lol), but she also hosted one of the stops on my 20 Questions Blog Tour last November. Now, wasn’t that nice?

Third, D.B. Grady. As I mentioned recently, this is a blog that’s well worth reading regularly, in any event. However, his latest post, “The Case for Crime Fiction,” is one I’d highly recommend to all mystery fans, particularly those of the hardboiled variety. Please note this post is (basically) D.B. Grady’s article from The Atlantic. Impressive!

 

My Blog’s Been Nominated for What????

Yesterday, I was on Twitter doing my usual #FollowFriday thing I like to do, when I saw a notice from my good online author pal @Derek_Haines. Basically, he said, “Hey, you, “Oi, look at this!” So, I did.

OMG! Derek had nominated my blog for the Stylish Blogger Award. Me blog stylish? Since when? Did they change the definition of the word?

Then, I began to worry. I looked out the window. I checked the sky, but I didn’t see any pigs flying. Nor did I see any fire falling from it. So it’s not like the Apocalypse had arrived later than predicted.

That’s when it sunk it. Hey, maybe this is for real! Awesome! Thanks, Derek!

That’s when it also sank in. This award came with responsibilities to be fulfilled, which is what I’m doing right now.

In fact, I’ve already done the first, which is to thank and link to the person who nominated you.

The next step is to share seven random facts about yourself.

Now this could be interesting. Or not.

Seven random facts about me

1. I once owned a gerbil named Seymour Glass, named after the character in the J.D. Salinger short story, “A Perfect Day for Bananafish.”

2. My favorite color is blue.

3. I seriously considered becoming a professional musician after high school.

4. Like Derek, I was born without a beard.

5. I once shook hands with Kitty Carlisle.

6. A tornado once went right by my car, while I was stuck in traffic and I couldn’t move. Then, it turned and it headed right toward my house, and it damaged almost my entire neighborhood, except my house. Really! Bizarre, huh?

7. I’ve taken a cross-country trip by car with a friend in two and a half days. I don’t recommend it.

Okay, so … the next step is to pass the award along to five new-found blogging buddies.

Well … boy, have I got a few suggestions … but, I’ll keep it to five.

My five nominees in (more or less) alphabetical order (click on name to see their blog)

1. D.B. Grady — That’s it. Just the name. That’s all he needs. (As I’ve noted on another blog.) Now, here’s a guy with something to say. A published author who isn’t agonizing over whether it’s better to sign with a traditional legacy publisher or be a self-published an indie author or whatever. Oh, you what I mean, right? What I’m trying to say is that this guy writes about things of substance. He writes things that are actually thought provoking. His blog is like a breath of fresh air. Really! Give it a try. See what you think. Can’t hurt, right?

2. Marissa Payne — The Anti DC is only one of Marissa’s blogs, actually. (Not that I’d know anything about that — ha ha.) However, it is the one I’m most familiar with, as well as the one that’s been around the longest, as far as I know. This blog demonstrates Marissa’s amazing knack for satire and has much to say about the goings on in our nation’s capital from the perspective of one who lives there. I highly recommend it, even if you’ve never been to DC. Really! You’ll learn more about the place than you would if you toured the White House, the Capitol and all the buildings of the Smithsonian, believe me! PS: Did I mention that it’s also a blog of note?

3. Mr. Teachbad — Mr. Teachbad’s Blog of Teacher Disgruntlement is a blog I stumbled across in a comment made on someone else’s blog. This is the cool thing about reading blogs. You never know what you might find. Now, this teacher really tells it like it is. And people really need to hear it. So, anyone who thinks that being a teacher is an easy job needs to read this blog. And anyone who thinks that being a teacher means you get a paid summer vacation needs to read this blog. And anyone who thinks that teachers don’t have to take work home with them needs to read this blog. Whew! Do me a favor. Just read this blog, okay? BTW, I also think this is a blog of note.

4. Paul Downie — Nik Nak’s Old Peculiar is a blog that features daily trivia questions. Paul Downie is a quizmaster (currently unemployed as such) who lives in Brentwood, in Essex County, near London, England. Paul is a big fan of Doctor Who, among other things. I can’t recall how I found this blog. Call it serenpidity, but at some point, I noticed it and began to follow it more closely. I started answering the trivia questions. I also got to know about Brentwood. You see, Paul is involved in his community and he blogs about things that are on his mind, as well as music and Doctor Who and movies and fun stuff. Anyhow, Paul found out about my book. I’d heard that UK libraries were having budget problems. Paul blogged about this, too. I offered to donate my books to his local library system. Long story short, this was arranged. Now, my book is in the Essex County Library system in England. Win-win-win!!! PS: I owe you a blog of note post, Paul.

5. Scott and Mary Clevenger (and contributor) — World O’ Crap is just so freakin’ awesome! Where do I start? I could tell you that it’s funnier than hell. I could also tell you that it skewers political wingnuts and pokes gentle fun at the world’s craziness in the most entertaining, yet thought provoking way. I could say all these things or you could just read the blog of note post I wrote about it and leave it at that. PS: Have I mentioned it has cats?? And Nathan Fillion??

Okay, so last thing, I have to contact the winners to congratulate them.

I’ll just send them the link to this post. Congratulations, guys!!!

 

Passing the Baton

As we prepare to say goodbye to an old year and welcome in a new one, it seems like an opportune moment to pass along an award I was given last February. (It’s one of those blogger awards you get and pass along to someone else. You know, like a virus.) The Blogging Writer Award was granted by Wendy Morrell from Down Under in New Zealand. Very cool!

Now, having given this a lot of thought and all due consideration, I’ve decided who this should go to next.

There’s an author who’s undertaking a project that I find nothing less than absolutely amazing. He’s pledged to blog every single, solitary day for 365 consecutive days in a row. Not just sh*tty little posts, either. Not crummy Web regurgitations. Not recycled YouTube clips. Actual, substantive posts with stuff to say and everything. Stuff that ranges from thoughts about writing to interesting experiences taken from his life (including meeting Cary Grant — wow!) to impromptu short stories with characters from his books.

I’m talking about the very talented Timothy Hallinan (author of CRASHED and THE QUEEN OF PATPONG) who’s blogging (365 days in a row, for a whole friggin’ year) at The Blog Cabin (aka, The Stupid 365 Project).

Congratulations, Tim! (And good luck. Whew! )

 

Anthony Voting — It’s Not All About Me

Now that the deadline for submitting Anthony ballots is drawing really close (10 days!), I wanted to mention some of my own personal favorites for various categories.

My great new find for the year is RED PLANET NOIR by D.B. Grady — totally deserving a vote for Best First Novel. (That’s not just my opinion. Go to his site and you’ll see it won an Indie Book Award for science fiction. Wowza!) This unique combination of sci-fi and old-style private eye novel is well worth a look (and a vote). You can read my review here.

Now, for Best Paperback Original, you can’t go wrong with TOWER by Ken Bruen and Reed Farrel Coleman (talk about a powerhouse duo!). I highly recommend it, as you can see from my review here.

As for Best Novel, I’d recommend THE MYSTIC ARTS OF ERASING ALL SIGNS OF DEATH by Charlie Huston. A book I thoroughly enjoyed for its unique style and (really dark) humor, as I discuss in my review here.

Have I exhausted the categories? Well, not quite. I’ll just throw in one last mention of my Derringer-nominated short story, “The Right to Remain Silent” (please click the link to read — thanks). You can read it online or listen to the podcast on Seth Harwood’s CrimeWAV (yeah, that’s me reading — trying to emote and all). The story was published in The Back Alley (Vol. III, No. 1 — check the archives), the first MWA-approved online periodical.

I think that about does it. (I am skipping Best Critical Nonfiction Work, since I don’t do those.)

So, if you’ve received an Anthony ballot and haven’t submitted it yet, please do so soon (before Friday, May 28, 2010). I hope you’ll consider these recommendations. And, yes, it really isn’t all about me.