The AFF Follow Up Post

Hi there! This is a follow up to this post, which is what you must do when your fingers won’t do the ~~walking~~ typing like they’re supposed to. Ha ha!

Before I write about the ~~horrible~~ Amazon Studios presentation, I must tell you that I’m retooling my Indiegogo project. I’m seeking as many “like”s as I can get for my series’ Facebook page. If I could get 50 by the end of the weekend, that would be SO awesome.

Thank you in advance!

Now … as to Amazon Studios, I went to the presentation ~~to spy on them~~ out of sheer curiosity, but learned nothing I didn’t already know.

The presenter showed a video of this book trailer. Not this one, but one that was much creepier, actually.

Now, you’d think, really? Not a great way to make a first impression, huh? Especially since the ballroom was freezing cold, to the point where I was looking around for Linda Blair or other possible demonically-possessed people.

Of course, the frigid temps could have been due to the fact that the ballroom was barely half full. Much to my ~~delight~~ surprise.

The presenter said a few words that I don’t remember, then opened the floor to questions from us, the “customers.” That surprised me a bit. I thought the market would be the customers, but it all depends on how you define it, right? Okay …

Well … to put it all in a nutshell ~~and save myself a shitload of typing~~, it would seem that Amazon doesn’t really want to tell us what its plans are in TV and film, if in fact it has any. But, it is willing to pay you lots of this …

For your screenplay. They want your content, of course. They’ll bend over backwards for good content.

They’re not very clear, however, about their plans. Every answer was prefaced with the words, “Good question!” Then, not answered, really. It seems Amazon wants feedback from its customers, which could be its paying customers or its writers. That got me really confused, but then it didn’t really matter. I was only there out of curiosity.

And then the presenter said that even though Amazon is a tech company, we shouldn’t worry because human beings will review all our submissions, not robots or algorithms or whatever. And I thought …

Well, of course, human beings will review submissions. A computer can’t determine if a story is any good. And if the story outright stinks, the content may as well be worthless.

I know Amazon authors. I’ve met Lee Goldberg, and he’s a mensch. I’ve also met L.J. Sellers at Bouchercon, and she’s awesome. I’ve also met editors for Thomas & Mercer and they obviously care about their work.

I’ve even left a rambling voice mail message for Stephen Leather, who sounds like such a nice guy. And I finished this book and it was so awesome, I’ll write a review ~~someday after I recover from everything I’m doing now~~ as soon as possible.

At some point, I got so ~~tired of listening to non-answers~~ cold, I actually started rubbing my face with my hand(s), like this.

Pretend this is me (sans laptop, etc.)

I swear, it was all I could do not to raise my hand and ask, “How does it feel to work for a technology company that wants to get into the spy business?” Or … “Is it true that Jeff Bezos has a rug made entirely of kitten fur?”