Hi there! Well, I’m home and in my usual routine. In fact, I’m amazing myself with what I can do, if I stay focused and don’t let
retarded stupid dumb useless things distract me.
So … here’s the thing. The first thing I should do is apologize.
And the second thing I should do is tell you that I’m letting go of anger.
I’m inserting these thoughts for the benefit of all. However, I must apologize because I’m sure I must have seemed like an asshole to someone. I was so full of myself, I actually wrote this on my blog. Ha ha ha … #iamfoolish
Fortunately (or not) for me, I had five blogs, so I was building a platform and didn’t even know it.
Which brings me to this video.
Okay. There’s a question Marcia Talley asked that I tried (unsuccessfully) to answer. She asked how I built my platform.
I fumbled around for thoughts. No pun intended. Ha ha ha …
I blurted out some words, but I guess they weren’t good enough or
were totally stupid made no sense me look like a dummy airhead a goofy blonde weren’t quite right, because they aren’t in the video.
Afterwards, the awesome Gina Panettieri said that the question seemed to baffle me. We both laughed about it, so it was totally cool. And I was like, “Yeah. I guess it did.” But I was thinking, I should know this, because I wrote this a long while ago.
So … I’m sorry I
became retarded dropped the ball wasn’t fully prepared.
Of course, I was so afraid I’d end up sounding like this.
And in fact I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. But I’m going to keep doing it and
pray hope that it works.
But wait! There’s more
horrible news about us me. And I’m sorry to say this, but the truth must come out.
When I wrote this post, I was in a really bad place. My dystonia was wearing me down, plus my mental health wasn’t good.
So, I will quote myself, in pertinent part:
I’ll be honest. This morning, I wasn’t feeling my best. I slept in and managed to pull myself out of bed later than usual.
Sometimes being a writer is like climbing a mountain. You just have to take the journey one step at a time, one day at a time.
Today, I really needed to do something … anything … that would bring me further along the way toward publishing my next book.
So, I decided to apply for my LOC number. This meant I had to decide, once and for all about the title of my book.
Now, I like the title ALIEN SHORES. It’s unusual, but it expresses the feel of the novel succinctly and cleverly.
However, will readers look at it and assume the story is something like this?
[insert YouTube video of creepy aliens]
Well … let me tell you, there isn’t a bit of that in my book, okay?
So … I was mulling this over, when I came across this news tidbit in my emailed headlines.
And I was like, WTF? Seriously? Here’s why. I’ll quote the
retarded weird part for you:
Hachette Book Group, one of the world’s largest publishing companies, has a response. In a document leaked today to Digital Book World by someone inside the company, Hachette outlines just why publishers are relevant. The company has shown the document internally to employees and externally to a limited number of agents and authors.
“You have to take a long look at what you’re up to and how you’re changing and adapting,” said a Hachette executive who preferred not to be named and who confirmed the authenticity of the document. “We’re all trying to come up with good messaging.”
The executive explained that the document is a continual work-in-progress and would evolve as the publishing business evolved.
The document in its entirety below:
“Self-publishing” is a misnomer.
Publishing requires a complex series of engagements, both behind the scenes and public facing. Digital distribution (which is what most people mean when they say self-publishing) is just one of the components of bringing a book to market and helping the public take notice of it.
As a full service publisher, Hachette Book Group offers a wide array of services to authors
Okay, honestly, I don’t do stupid anymore. I don’t have the time or energy to care. But this is just SO wrong.
Apart from the fact that I publish my books in print and audio, so I am NOT just engaged in “digital distribution” (a totally bullsh*t term), I do believe that the word publishing may not mean what you think it means.
Why don’t we check the freaking dictionary, huh? And it says “the business or profession of the commercial production and issuance of literature, information, musical scores or sometimes recordings, or art.” That’s it. Just click the link right here and see for yourself.
BTW, I don’t see one freaking thing in the real definition about format, do you?
Oh, and about all those lovely services you offer to your authors. The marketing, the promo, the promises, the enthusiasm, etc., etc.
I think this author’s post should serve as a
Well, I’m here (on this here blog) to
tell write you that Hachette was right. That’s what Amazon, Nook and Kobo publishing do for you. They provide digital distribution of your product.
In my response, I was missing the point entirely. This is revealed in my own
Not to make excuses, but I was involved in preparing to publish my novel in print, as you can read in my own
less stupid words. So, I considered myself very much a publisher. But, I was in fact the doofus.
Amazon (and now Kobo, maybe) doesn’t provide marketing, promotion, cover design, etc., etc. Unless, of course, you sign with them exclusively.
That’s why Amanda Hocking chose to go to St. Martin’s. It wasn’t about the money. She decided the deal was good enough, and they’d help her with marketing, cover design, etc.
Hitler Amazon, which was busy trying to crush its competition like a blundering greedy moron shortsighted company without true sustainable vision, St. Martin’s could actually get Hocking’s books placed in bookstores. They could also pull out the stops when it came to book signings, interviews, film rights, etc., etc. Do things that would give her a shot at literary immortality. That’s what I was writing about in that post. Yet, people thought I was blogging about marketing. No!!!! All authors market. That’s the reality. You have to earn your stripes before you can grab the brass ring (so to speak).
Or as Zoe Winters once said, “There is no shortcut to awesome.”
And now, as the Buddhist I’ve come to realize I am, I must apologize to the author referred to in this column. Please understand I was in a really bad place, okay? And I’d give you a hug, if I could. Honest!
Okay, a few links of possible interest, then I’ll shut the fuck up. Ha ha ha …
Ever feel really deeply stupid?
Austin Camacho has a new blog. Awesome! It is new, right? Or am I just
deeply stupid behind the times?
No shit! Ha ha ha …
OMG! I think there’s even a reference in there to doing a Constanza! Ha ha ha …
In fact, at the very first Sisters in Crime meeting I went to, there were a whole
shitload bunch of authors who spoke about how they’d gotten published that year. Guess who one of them was.
The amazing Janet Evanovich. Can you believe that shit? I’ve met these fucking people. I’m sooo
Sisters in Crime’s mission is to even the playing field, so that women mystery writers will get the respect that male authors like these seem to get routinely.
All authors deserve respect, whether they write genre or non-genre fiction. Or non-fiction. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. So, there I’ve said it. Again. Ha ha ha …
And you can now buy my latest book through Indiebound. Awesome!
I’m getting my crowdsourcing shit together, as described here, along with other things you might like to read. Or not. Whatever.
BTW, I really am cleaning the crap out of my office. Click here for the
horrible details. Ha ha ha …
PS: I found out yesterday that my script “The Enemy Within” has made the quarterfinals in the Scriptapalooza contest.
Now, Paul Downie didn’t give this film high marks, but he made it sound interesting. And it is an indie film financed through Kickstarter. So I thought I’d post the video here.
And in keeping with the theme of getting real, here’s an awesome song from Nik Nak’s Old Peculiar.
And an awesome quote:
“We don’t see the people who are doing real things getting enough props. We often see politicians who are everywhere but nowhere at the same goddamn time. You know the kind of person: You see them everywhere on television but nowhere in front of your face.”
Chuck D, born 1st August 1960